Temptress: Why our Hatred of the Mistress is Rooted in Misogyny

Tales from the “Other Woman”

Elizabeth Taylor, Queen Camilla, Cleopatra, Ariana Grande…What do all these women have in common? They have all been the “other woman.”

The “other woman” is a term we use to describe a certain type of woman, though any individual, regardless of gender, can embody her archetype. She is one that the man (or woman) in the relationship cheats on their primary partner with. Most often, this occurs in cis-gender heterosexual relationships, or at least that is what is modeled for us through art and media. We’ve all seen movies like Obsession, The Seven Year Itch, and TV shows like The Affair, which portray the “other woman” as a lustful temptress set on seducing the married/taken man she has set her eyes on. Often, in these movies, the other woman is seen by the male main character as alluring, sexually empowered, liberated, and unshackled by the rules and regulations of society. She represents everything the main male character shouldn’t want and yet desires to be with. She is wild, untamed, and free – all the things he feels like he cannot be as he believes he is trapped in his marriage/relationship, which is full of obligation and responsibility. Thus, she represents not a person to him but rather an ideal – an idea of what his life would be like if he weren’t held down by the weight of the structures in his life, which he feels he must maintain. A kind of love that defies the patriarchal traditions and values he has internalized to be the “golden standard” of not only what he should want in a relationship, but for his life as well. Thus, she represents freedom. Specifically, a type of freedom that is inherently feminine because, like the ocean, nature, and the moon, it does not abide by the laws and structures of men. It exists, it just is.

The Seven Year Itch (1955) staring Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell