The Magic of Simplicity
Lessons from Luckenbach, Texas
We’ve been so busy keepin’ up with the Joneses
Four car garage, and we’re still building on
Maybe it’s time we got back to the basics of love…- Waylon Jennings, Luckenbach, Texas
I’ve been moving a lot slower these last couple of weeks. Perhaps that has to do with Mercury being retrograde, or, on a more personal note, maybe I am feeling the “lull” that writers experience after publishing two of the most seminal articles on my Yonic Theory™. A “project” which I initially planned to publish as a book just over a year ago, until I realized that this theory would need to metaphorically take on a “life” of her own, as she and I will continue to evolve.
Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that over roughly the next month, I will be traveling around Eastern Europe, the UK, and Germany as part of a “graduation gift” to myself for finishing my PhD back in 2024, and also part of an independent research trip to study feminine folk healing practices.
…or of course, it could just be the absolute sheer disillusionment of living in a system that is actively crumbling before our eyes, as millions of individuals across the world are suffering, being separated from their families and loved ones, all while the environment continues to erode and our fresh water systems dwindle because we’ve decided AGAIN that a war over which rich country controls the most oil is more important than human life…
(The correct answer is probably D. all the above)
Whatever the reason for this lull, which the perfectionist in me tends to resist with all her might, this past month of reflection has felt like a “reset.”
A time to slow down and become clear on the things I value, believe in, and want for myself and my life moving forward.
Whether I want to continue “keeping up with the Joneses” as they say, or decide to follow my own path and pursue what feels most true and authentic for me.
Which, the country artist Waylon Jennings might argue, is all about going back to “the basics of love.”
Luckenbach, Texas
While I was born and raised in Texas, I had never heard of the town of Luckenbach until I took a girls’ trip to Fredericksburg when I was 27. The trip took place on the weekend, which was originally scheduled as my wedding date and with one of my would-be bridesmaids, before I abruptly called off my engagement and decided to move back to my home state.
Needless to say…during this trip…”love” or at least romantic love, was the last thing I wanted on my mind.
After a quick hike and day trip to Enchanted Rock, a popular hiking/tourist spot in the Hill Country, my friend told me we needed to visit the town of Luckenbach on our way back to the hotel. I agreed but asked what was so special about this town I had never heard of, to which she responded, “You’ll see,” and then proceeded to play Waylon Jennings’ iconic song for me to listen to.
Spoiler: Luckenbach is a small rural town that has only two buildings in the entire town: 1) A post office and 2) A dance hall.
Yet, despite its humble appearance, the town is far from ordinary.
Thousands of people every year drive down to this small town and park their RVs or stay in nearby towns like Fredericksburg for local country music festivals.
Yet the symbolism of the town of Luckenbach for many individuals is more than just country music, beer, and “good vibes.”
As stated previously, it is a town known for “getting back to the basics,” as Jennings sings in his famous song, in which he references himself and the famous Willie Nelson and the “boys” or country music giants who have played at the town’s many festivals, which has given way to its fame and notoriety.
But Jennings’ song is much more than an ode to the town he was known to play his music at; it’s a desire to reclaim the “simple” nature of life.
As he sings in the course:
Let’s go to Luckenbach, Texas
With Waylon and Willie and the boys
This successful life we’re living
Got us feuding like the Hatfields and McCoys
Between Hank Williams’ pain songs
And Newberry’s train songs
And “Blue Eyes Cryin’ In The Rain”
Out in Luckenbach, Texas
Ain’t nobody feeling no pain
This is, of course, followed by the next verse in which Jennings states:
So baby, let’s sell your diamond ring
Buy some boots and faded jeans and go away
This coat and tie is choking me
In your high society, you cry all day…
When I first heard this verse, I was a bit caught off guard, and I remember telling my friend, I couldn’t imagine selling my diamond ring to move to a small town in Texas in favor of a “simple life,” but as I’ve gotten older, I find myself more and more wanting to find my own metaphorical “Luckenbach.”
And in some ways, I think my younger self always knew this would be the case…
When I ended my relationship with my fiancé, I actually did give him back my ring. I left it on the kitchen table one night for him to find, which, in hindsight, probably hurt him much more than I realized at the time. Only I couldn’t see it because I was blinded by my own feelings of pain and betrayal.
The reason I gave back my ring was not that I didn’t love it. In fact, it had been the exact type of ring I had wanted at the time. A prominent pear-cut center diamond cushioned on a diamond band.
Instead, I gave it back to him because, like Jennings’ words suggest, which perhaps is its own form of irony, I intuitively knew on a deeper level that for both of us the relationship had become something of a farce.
As Jennings describes in his song, my ex and I not only feuded “like the Hatfields and McCoys” (Two famous families in United States history who had another bitter (and bloody) ending.) we also were not living for ourselves and our relationship had become a way to “keep up appearances” (i.e., keeping up with the Joneses).
At the time, I had just finished my Master’s in Counseling and was working toward licensure, while he was a lead manager at an auto-parts store.
We weren’t living some “dream” fairy tale life filled with old money or Instagram fame. Neither of us had really any money to our names, despite us looking at houses and pretending that we could afford them. Moreover, we weren’t trying to be influencers or make ourselves “famous” on social media, but it was a farce because neither one of us was honest about what we really wanted.
We didn’t live the “suit and tie” lifestyle that Jennings describes, but nevertheless, there was still pressure to perform. To buy the house, to get married, to have children. To “follow the rules.” The diamond ring he gave me when he asked me to marry him was a contract, an agreement that we both understood meant we were supposed to follow a “traditional” path.
Except I wasn’t ready for that. I hadn’t yet figured out who I was beneath the “in-group” rhetoric I was being told to absorb. The “good wife,” “good mother,” or even the “good therapist” I was being expected to play.
I was in what I referred to in my Yonic Theory™ as my Veil Function. The aspect of the Self that embodies the light feminine and seeks to provide us with a sense of safety by conforming to the expectations of others. No matter where one falls on the political or social spectrum.
And I’ve seen the extremes of both sides of this within different “in-groups”.
For example, in my own life, there have been times in my life in which most of my friends were mostly all “liberal” and queer or queer-allies, and I have felt pressured to conform to their expectations of me in order to belong. I have also been in social situations, particularly with my ex-fiancé, in which the majority of individuals were more “conservative” than I was, and thus I felt pressured to conform there as well.
This assertion does not make me “two-faced” or a “people pleaser,” though that has definitely been a light feminine quality I have struggled with in the past.
What I am simply saying is that within these two groups, I often found myself agreeing with some of the shared values of both groups, yet also disagreeing with others; but there never seemed to be space to allow for disagreement or for me to reflect my own point of view.
Which brings me back to finding my own Luckenbach… eventually, we all have to decide when we have achieved “enough,” or rather, when we are finally going to stop “keeping up with appearances” and decide for ourselves who we are, what we actually value, and what we believe.
When we have acquired enough stuff, achieved enough accolades, gotten enough “notches” on our belts, and climbed enough metaphorical or real mountains to say, “no thanks, I’m good.”
At 26, I wasn’t ready to be married; I didn’t have enough “notches” yet. I hadn’t lived enough to know what I even wanted in a partner or what I would like for myself. And these notches were not just about romantic experiences. It was the part of me that wanted to advocate in professional spaces, present at state-wide and national conferences, obtain my PhD, build my own practice, and live on my own in different cities. Travel and see the world. To be able to do the things my mother, grandmother, and past generations of women were prevented from being able to do for themselves.
Yet, as is common for most women, when I left one extreme ( or what could be viewed as the traditional marriage or “trad wife” aesthetic), I swung hard into the opposite end of the “girl boss” social media rhetoric.
Except I wasn’t actually either one of these. Rather, it was the labels other people picked out for me to make themselves feel better about THEIR choices…
“Are you like us? Or are you like them?”
Or to quote another famous line:
“Are you a good witch? Or a bad witch?”
Better yet, known as the goddess-witch spectrum, which you can learn more about by clicking the link below:
Keeping up with the Joneses can take many forms, as the “in-group” is always changing depending on the period of history you are in, the color of your skin, your ethnic heritage, or even your religion. We’re seeing that happening now all across the United States, how people are having to reconcile their alliances, who they want to support, and what they actually believe.
But here is the thing: the ones in the “in-group” never stay at the top for long, or rather, if they do, it is because they sell their Soul to do so.
This is because, as Marion Woodman describes, individuals at the top are always chasing “Spirit” or the masculine principle of the Self.
The next “high”, the next marriage, the next sexual conquest, award, honor, or achievement, or the next 100,000 subscribers on their social media following.
And what that leads to is a deep feeling of dissatisfaction, and so to cope, they need a “bigger high,” another award, more money, more belt notches, more, more and more.
And that obsession with what I refer to as the masculine principle of Spirit/Eros, leads to scarcity when not properly balanced with the feminine principle of Soul/Psyche. It leads to the selling of one’s soul and making Faustian deals with “the Devil,” in which the comfort of the “in-group” or “fame” or “money” or “status” becomes its own gilded cage.
“I have a whole room in my house to store and organize my influencer make-up collection.”
“I want another engagement ring for my 1st, 5th, 10th, or 20th wedding anniversary.”
“Fuck more bitches and eat more protein to get those ‘alpha male’ gains.”
“Publish or perish. You’re only as good as your last article.”
When the message is “do, do, do,” you forget what it feels like to enjoy and appreciate the climb and why you wanted to be on the mountain in the first place…
The Simplicity of Settling
In my youth, I used to be terrified of the idea of “settling” in marriage, in love, in my career… to me, “settling” meant “giving up” or a life “wasted.” This fear once again stemmed from the ways the women in my family were not allowed to achieve their dreams, the ways they were not able to follow their “hearts” or the calling of their own feminine principles of Psyche/Soul.
When women lack choice, they default to survival. Logic or “Spirit” takes over. They perform; they overattach to their Veil functions; they become hollow versions of themselves; and thus, they course-correct. They seek to fulfill their Ego functions by “keeping up with the Joneses” - as I did.
I needed the accolades, the PhD, the bullet points on my entirely too long CV. I needed the awards, the achievement, because for so long, myself and other women were told not to have or want those things.
And then I hit my “mountain.” I climbed my metaphorical “Enchanted Rock.” I published my theory, albeit not in the way I initially planned, but nevertheless, it got done, and you know what - I like it better this way…
Because when you finally settle, that’s actually when creativity blooms the most.
When you stop comparing yourself to the “Joneses” or who is saying what on social media or whichever “in-group” you belong to, your mind and heart both become free to allow you to focus on what it is that you actually believe and whether or not you are happy in the spot you have landed.
I believe that for Waylon Jennings, Luckenbach symbolized this for him. A place that he associated with simplicity, where he could drink a cold beer, hang out with his friends, and get back to doing the thing he loved to do most – singing and entertaining others. That core essence of his Soul/Psyche, which made him feel most like himself, but connected to others as well.
Because in embracing the art of “settling” or the “simplicity” of one’s life, we end up discovering not only who we really are, which helps women reconcile their inner goddess-witch spectrum, we also find those in our lives who can actually see us for who we really are under the “veils” we wear.
We find the people who have also chosen to find their own path and chosen their own way of being, and that is actually how we get back to the basics of love.
OX
Your Dark Fairy Godmother
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